


FanFicNite I

by QueenlyCrimson, Retard



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Minecraft (Video Game), Pepsiman (Video Game), Portal (Video Game), Real Person Fiction, Shrek (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Terraria
Genre: Ass Play, Ass to Mouth, Batshit crazy, Blood and Injury, Bottom Severus Snape, Cancer, Character Death, Cock & Ball Torture, Cringe, Death, Drama & Romance, Episode: s02e07 I Want You to Die, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Foot Fetish, Gay, Gay Sex, Gen, Good Severus Snape, Gun Violence, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Sorry, Inflation, Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury, Masturbation, Micropenis, Minor Character Death, Mouth-to-Mouth, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Other, Pepsi, Please Kill Me, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Robot Sex, Romance, Shrek is Love Shrek is Life, Terrorism, Vore, actual fucking vore, cosmos - Freeform, im so sorry, toe sucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23868265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenlyCrimson/pseuds/QueenlyCrimson, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retard/pseuds/Retard
Summary: i want deathme and my friends all made this and we read it all out loud, i want to die and be punished for my crimes against humanityplease end my suffering
Relationships: AA/Reader, Chell/GLaDOS, Herobrine (Minecraft)/Reader, Pepsiman/Calamitas, Pepsiman/Yharim, Shrek/Snape
Comments: 22
Kudos: 29





	1. GlaDOS x  Chell

“You may have tried to kill me, but you still saved my life, saved my facility.. I thought perhaps I should repay you somehow,” Chel shivered at the implication, shifting further back until her back was pressed against the steel wall. GLaDoS inched closer, “Caroline never truly adored Mr. Johnson as much as he adored her. Yes, she loved him.. But not ever romantically, no. You’re still a bit heavy for her taste, but I suppose you’ll have to do, won’t you?” Her voice died to a mere whisper, Chel felt a whimper rise in her throat, everything in her body telling her to open her legs for GLaDoS.

She couldn’t help but obey, her body temperature rising.

Amusement struck GLaDoS’s gaze, “You seem awful eager, but I suppose I cannot deny you.” An arm-like system lowered and attached itself to the spherical segment of GLaDoS’s body, the hand on it flexing and closing. “I have been working on this for a while. It was never for interaction, more just a more personal connection with my management skills,” she explained, one of the fingers reaching between Chel’s pants and rubbing gently.

“All of the times I tricked you with cake, with freedom, with my love, it was all so cruel, was it not? I mean, you are a bit of a masochist, so I suppose you must have enjoyed all of it, but nonetheless,” she paused, rubbing Chel a bit harder. Letting out a small gasp, Chel began to close her legs, having not felt a feeling quite like this since before her testing days so many hundreds of years ago, maybe thousands. “Yes, I think you quite enjoy this. Take off your clothes, now,” GLaDoS commanded, and without hesitation Chel obeyed, undoing the binds of her orange jeans, slipping off the long fall boots, her feet aching as they met the air for the first time since Chel could remember. She looked back up at GLaDoS, but she didn’t look happy. “The shirt, too, you idiot,” she huffed. Chel nodded, pulling the Aperture tank over her head, undoing her silicone bra at the back.

GLaDoS peered closer, investigating Chel’s now naked body, one of the fingers prodding at Chel’s entrance, Chel watching it nervously as it slowly pushed into her. The feeling of slight tremors inside her forced her to lean back, ribs pushing the confines of her thinner frame, GLaDoS prodding her breasts with a second hand, installed in the rush of Chel’s newfound pleasure.

The extremity pushed deeper, sending waves of pleasure through Chel like waves crossing on the shore. Chel could not make any noise louder than a squeak, but her small sounds were prolonged and filled with ecstasy. GLaDoS was only beginning. GLaDoS pushed further into Chel, pulling in and out now, watching Chel. Just when it seemed Chel was beginning to adjust to the feeling she shoved a second finger inside, moving faster, gradually stretching Chel as she writhed beneath the massive robot. GLaDoS whispered insults in Chel’s ear, lifting her partially off the bed as the vibrations became more intense, until at last Chel cried out and spasmed, and GLaDoS pulled away, holding her fingers up to Chel’s mouth. “Lick,” she demanded.

Chel obeyed, lapping her own fluids off of GLaDoS’s compressed, but soft carbon digits. GLaDoS flicker her hand away at last. “That’s enough, we’re done here. Testing starts tomorrow at-”

As GLaDoS began to turn away Chel grabbed her, patting the bed beside her, asking GLaDoS to stay. GLaDoS watched her a moment, before sighing. “Alright, fine. The facility could manage without me for a few minutes,” she presumed, settling her head down on Chel’s chest, watching as the woman drifted off, holding the robot’s head in her arms. Before Chel fell into sleep, she heard GLaDoS’s soft voice echo in her ears.

“Goodnight, Chel, I love you,” she whispered.


	2. Herobrine x Reader

_ Before we begin I’d like to note that this takes place in a simulation of a Minecraft game, much like the Matrix. It’s like virtual reality, but you’re actually there, instead of wearing a headset to make it seem like you’re there. Keep that in mind as we begin. Also, I did the calculations, and 70.01% of this is entirely smut. I’m so fucking sorry _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You spawn into your first survival world, pensive about playing Life Minecraft for the first time. You didn’t want to play it initially (the mobs scare you enough in the virtual game version, you didn’t want to see them in a simulated reality,) but your friends insisted it was fun, so you finally caved and bought it. As soon as you spawn in, you check to make sure you’re properly in the simulation. You look down at your feet, wiggling your toes to make sure they’re there. You’ve heard horror stories of a bug where your toes get glitched out when you first spawn, and you quite value your little toesie woesies. You’re thankful to see they’re still there.

The next thing you note, which, in hindsight, should’ve been the first thing, was that you are a normal shaped human person. Yes, instead of a blocky square person, like in the regular game, you are there in your normal body. You are deeply ashamed to note that your micropenis hasn't gotten any bigger. You sigh, and begin your task of breaking trees and building a dirt house to make it through the night. 

The first time you punch a tree, you wince, expecting it to hurt. You’re surprised when it doesn’t, and breaks normally without breaking your fingers. This delights you, and you go on a tree punching rampage, destroying practically the entire forest with the power of your mighty, untouchable fist. You’re too caught up in the absolute joy of demolishing an ecosystem to notice when it turns night.

That is, until you see a notification in your peripheral vision.

**_Herobrine has joined the game._ **

You feel a chill wash over you. Herobrine?  _ The _ Herobrine?! He was entirely a myth in the original game, a fabrication by Notch to cause intrigue around the game. But this version of the game was not made by Notch, and thus, must have different rules. So Herobrine might actually exist. You think, or rather hope, for a moment, that this is merely one of your friends pranking you. They somehow got the username and joined to freak you out. Then, two things happen at once.

You remember that this is a singleplayer world, on a virtually unhackable interface.

You see two glowing eyes in the darkness ahead of you.

“Nope!” You whisper, eyes darting down below you. You desperately crouch and start punching the ground, deciding to spend the night in a hole rather than face the unthinkable horror in front of you. In your desperation to escape, you don’t notice the eyes slowly get closer, or mysteriously vanish a few blocks away from your location. 

You dig a three block deep hole in the ground, hop in, and place a piece of wood that you’d collected above you, breathing a sigh of relief as you find yourself safe and alone in your hiding spot. You camp out for the night, listening restlessly to zombies, skeletons, and other monstrosities passing above you. You barely sleep in your cramped conditions and pray Herobrine will disappear once the sun rises.

As soon as you hear the lovely sound of zombies dying above you, you decide it’s time to start the day. You clamber gracelessly out of your hole, and decide against plugging it up should Herobrine fall in and become trapped. Wouldn’t that be the best thing of the century? Unless he can teleport, in which case, you’re fucked. You imagine the idea of  _ actually  _ being fucked by Herobrine, but try to shake away the thoughts as soon as they come. 

You will admit, you find the blocky, inhuman nature of Minecraft people incredibly sexually attractive. Your thumb sized weenie weeps at the idea of a square person like Herobrine tearing apart your pathetic little asshole with the edges of his square cock. His eyes glowing with cold indifference as he punishes your tight hole, thrusting up against your prostate over and over-

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You take a deep breath and banish these thoughts once again. Herobrine is a monster, you remind yourself, not some hot serial killer like Ted Cruz, the Zodiac Killer. You get to work building your house, and let that be your focus for the day. That night, you shelter in your house, having found no sheep for wool for a bed, and pass the night in hopes that Herobrine doesn’t find you.

If only you were so lucky.

Once the moon reaches its full height, you hear everything around you stop. There’s no sound of the leaves in the wind, no sound of zombies moaning nearby. Not even the ever present melancholy background music can be heard.

And then, ever so slowly, you hear the telltale steps of two feet approaching your front door.

You scramble to find your wooden sword, holding it out shakily in front of you. You hadn’t had time in the day to mine stone for a better one, and you deeply regret that now. 

As your door  _ creeeeeeaks _ open, you feel a fearful tingle go down your spine. And as your eyes meet the dreadful glow of his, the tingle goes forward a bit into your dick. You whimper, torn between fighting or allowing him to overpower you. After a microsecond of internal debate, you decide he’s more likely to take your life than take you, and you hold your sword steadier. 

But as soon as the door is open and his whole form is illuminated, he raises his blocky, fingerless fist. His glowing face orbs stare straight into your soul, and your knees buckle. You moan as you feel a strange tingly sensation in your crotch and chest areas. You fall to all fours, dropping your flimsy sword in the process, as Herobrine slowly walks closer to you. You look down and are alarmed to notice that your chest is now sporting  _ boobs, _ and they’re getting larger by the second. Around this moment, you feel your legs get forced apart as your testicles also inflate to a comically large size. 

By this time, you’re sure you’re blushing, and there’s finally sound again. The sound, of course, is you panting and moaning like a little whore. The inflation of your body parts feels incredibly pleasurable, and that coupled with the excitement of being overpowered by Herobrine himself makes your tiny dick grow into a slightly less tiny hardness. You’re surprised that it isn’t also being inflated, and you feel your face burn hotter with embarrassment knowing Herobrine would soon see. 

After a bit, your new tits and less new balls cushion your body against the ground, and you’ve been lifted high enough by the inflated sexual organs that your arms and legs don’t touch the ground. Your clothes have been completely ripped off, and now lay uselessly in shreds on the ground. You can feel your nipples hard against the wood floor of your house, and whine at the feeling. You lay there, whimpering and flailing, then go limp as you feel Herobrine’s block hand caress your ass. 

“What a sweet coincidence… the first world I visit is also one of the first testers of the player being a regular human.”

You try to speak, but find that Herobrine’s dominating power makes you unable to talk unless he orders you to. You’re a helpless, silent slave to his advances. 

“Oh!” Herobrine exclaims, lifting one of your legs to inspect your feet. You still, somehow, have your shoes on, and he removes them as well as your socks in favor of seeing your wiggling toes. “Your feet look rather odd. They’re… shaped, and what are these appendages?”

He tickles your toes, and you squeal and flail.

“Oh, sensitive, I see~?” Herobrine practically purrs. “That’s quite sexy. What if I…?”

Herobrine wraps his hot, moist mouth around your toes, sucking them past his teeth into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around your fleshy feet phalanges, making you moan from the sensation. He also moans, apparently loving the feeling of toes in his mouth.  _ Herobrine has a foot fetish?  _ You think to yourself, then decide you also like it, so you let it happen. You hope the precum leaking from your teeny weenie shows Herobrine that everything happening is entirely consensual, and fine by your book. Herobrine, however, can’t see it, as your massive testicles block the view. He apparently notices the fact that your dick is unseeable, and his brow seems to furrow.

“Why can’t I see your nice cock? It should’ve inflated with the rest of you.”

He effortlessly flips you onto your back, and you arch your back from how goddamn turned on his strength makes you. He might not have defined muscles, but his square arms are still strong, and it makes you want to submit entirely. He notices you exposing your neck in a sign of submission and smirks.

“Are you into what I’m doing to you? You little whore, you want to be fucked by me. Ah, I’ve always wanted a human as a fucktoy…” He trails off as his eyes land on your dripping micropenis, and after a moment of silence, he bursts into raucous laughter.

“It’s so TINY!” He shrieks, obviously delighted with your defect. He touches his hand to your balls, causing them to deflate a bit to give him access to your cock. The feeling of his warm square hand on your sensitive ballsack makes you moan quietly, and he chuckles hotly at that. You hear him mumble something about you being a slut, but you’re too far gone with lust to really notice or register what he said. 

You have no idea how worked up you are until Herobrine touches your mini dick with the corner of his hand. You let out a loud whine as you instantly spurt hot cum all over yourself, splashing it on your huge tits and even onto your face. You have no idea how it managed to squirt that far, or how you were cumming so much. It flooded over your body in tiny streams, covering you in your own white seed. After a bit, it finally subsides, and you’re left panting with your own semen dripping into your mouth. 

Like a good slut, you swallow what lands in there.

Herobrine had been standing patiently nearby as he watched you, and after you finished, he comes to stand by your face. You watch with bleary eyes, not really processing as he unbuckles his pants and pulls out his huge cock. You note that this, like every other body part of his, is square, and you moan at the idea of having it inside you. After taking a good look, you notice it’s incredibly big. That thing had to have been at least a foot and a half long, with a thickness to match. Herobrine leans down and slaps it against your cheek, growling that you had to be punished for cumming before he gave permission. With that, Herobrine stuffs his entire 18 inch blocky dick down your sweet, wet thrussy, until your bottom lip is right up against his square balls.

You drool all over his cock, surprised that you’re able to breathe and also are not choking. You figure that whatever magic made your tits and balls inflate also makes your throat able to take a square dick as far as it will go, and you let your eyes fall closed in bliss as Herobrine fucks himself into your face. He takes his cock out, making you whimper at the loss, and straddles your face on his knees. Herobrine groans and lifts your head with his hands (how he’s able to grab anything is beyond you, but you don’t particularly mind,) and shoves his sweet cock back into your mouth. You run your tongue along the underside, tasting him as he uses your face as if it were a fleshlight. 

After a while, Herobrine’s thrusts start to get more erratic. You let out a desperate moan, wiggling your tongue faster to stimulate his cock. You’re excited to have him fill your mouth with his hot seed, and you’d rather drink Herobrine’s sticky cum all day every day than have regular food as sustenance. 

Finally, after what feels like a lifetime of having your face brutally used, Herobrine pulls his cock out until just the tip is in your mouth and releases his load. You get to taste every single sperm cell that hits your tongue, and you are in heaven. You never want to go back to your real life, and are completely willing to stay in this simulated Minecraft world as Herobrine’s personal sex toy. You feel your stomach start to expand with each rope of cum spurted into your mouth.  _ He has to be cumming gallons,  _ you think to yourself. You’re so caught up in the euphoria of having your gut filled with semen that you don’t really register Herobrine flipping you onto your back and positioning himself at your entrance. 

“Now for the main event,” he growls, snapping you back to reality. You whimper and wriggle your ass as best you can with your massive ballsack in the way. 

“Please, Herobrine, fill my bussy with your fat square cock!” You wail, on the verge of cumming again with your weak stamina that comes with having an itsy bitsy teeny weeny peenie. He pauses before inserting himself, much to your displeasure. After a moment and a hum, his cock (which is somehow still hard) throbs, and he backs away. You whine softly, wondering what you did wrong to be punished so. You wonder if he’d rather be called by his name, or if he’d prefer a title. Master, perhaps? Or daddy? Daddy sounded good to you. You decided then that you’d call him ‘daddy’ and see if that convinced him to go through with fucking you. 

“Daddy Herobrine, please fuck me…” You whimper quietly, trying to sound as sexy as possible. He laughs a bit, and replies, 

“Oh, sweet player, I will. Give Daddy a minute to decide something.” 

You fall silent, then, following Daddy’s orders. After an  **excruciating** 30 seconds, he seems to come to a decision, and once again flips you so you’re on your back. You give him a curious look at this, and end up getting lost in his glowing white orbs. 

“I want to see your hilariously tiny cock as I fuck you.” Herobrine growls, lifting your leg and swiping his tongue along your pinkie toe. You blush with embarrassment, then forget all shame as he finally,  _ finally _ slams his cock into your ass as far as it can go. You barely notice that you’re able to take it in its entirety without prep or pain, just like your throat. No, you’re too busy screaming with the intense pleasure of a block cock forcing itself into you over and over again without a shred of mercy. You feel Herobrine’s testicular cubes smacking against your asscheeks as you get fucked mercilessly. Herobrine is tearing apart your insides, and you’re absolutely loving it. 

“Holy  _ Notch,  _ you’re such a cockslut!” Herobrine exclaims, continuing his relentless assault on your anus. “I bet you love Daddy’s dick in you, huh? Isn’t that right, whore?” 

You wail in response, hoping that answer satisfies him. It’s hard for you to say any words. 

“I’m so glad your tits aren’t square, like everyone else I’ve fucked. It’s much more sexy when they’re round and bouncing.” He moans, punching his square hand into your oversized boob. For the first time since he started taking your anal virginity, you feel the ability to say something. 

“Squiddies.” 

Herobrine stops, taking a moment to register what fucking cursed thing you just said. “What the fuck did you say?”

You giggle slightly, and repeat, “Squiddies. Square tiddies.”

You feel Herobrine’s dick immediately go flaccid inside of you. It’s like your words are a needle poking a balloon, causing it to pop and lose all inflation. He sighs in disappointment and pulls out, pulling up his pants and buckling his belt. “Fucking dammit, I thought you’d be perfect. But no, you had to go and say that.”

“I’m sorry?” You offer timidly, sad that you caused him to stop fucking you. 

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, bitch.” He glares at you, his orbs now shining angrily. “I’m going to swallow you whole.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Like vore?”

“What in the name of fuck is vore?”

“.....you know, vore.”

“Can you shut your fucking mouth?” With that, you feel your lips seal shut, and you’re suddenly unable to talk.  _ Herobrine must have some pretty wacky magic powers to make that happen,  _ you think to yourself, and then widen your eyes in alarm as you feel a strange pressure envelop your entire body. You squirm in fear, not understanding what’s happening, as you watch Herobrine’s angry figure slowly get bigger and bigger above you. Your balls and tits stay the same proportion to the rest of your body, though they shrink with you. You also notice your stomach is way too large, probably from all the cum you happily drank earlier. You’re very disappointed that you didn’t get to take the same sized load in your ass, but your fear overcomes all other emotions as you continue to get smaller and smaller. 

Herobrine eventually leans down and picks you up (somehow, even though he doesn’t have much in the way of fingers,) and you are horrified at how big he is. At the same time, though, you feel safe and calm in his grasp. You know he won’t hurt you, at least, not too badly. Herobrine’s massive eyes close and he shakes his head with a sigh. 

“I wanted you to be perfect, you know.”

You feel the pressure sealing your lips lessen, and you realize faintly that he wants a response. All you are able to bring yourself to say is, 

“Vore me, Daddy Herobrine!”

Herobrine’s eyes flash angrily and he shoves you in his mouth unceremoniously. Your brain is only able to process that  _ oh, his tongue and throat and square too? _ before you’re being methodically pushed down his muscular moist throat. Though your head is too small, you can feel each muscle pulsing against your other, hyper-inflated body parts as you slide headfirst down his square esophagus. And finally, with a  **plop** and a splash, you land in the belly of the beast. 

You take a moment to look around and note that his stomach acid isn’t dissolving or hurting you in any way. No, in fact, it doesn’t really seem to be doing anything at all, and you sigh in relief. You’d hate to know what it feels like to get dissolved by stomach acid. The next thing you do is look around and find you’re all alone. You don’t know how you’re able to see, as it should be pitch black inside his organs, until you notice a few glowing blocks that he’d obviously shrunk and swallowed in the past. Perhaps in preparation for a visitor? You shrug and sit there for a while, not really knowing what to do.

After some time, you get bored. You decide that enough is enough, and you take the required measures to exit your game. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   


You open your eyes back in your room, laying in the game-pod you’d entered when you first started the simulation. You look down and note that your body is back to normal, except for a slight raised spot on your chest. You now have itty bitty titties, much like your itty bitty weenie. You also note that your throat and ass are sore, and you debate masturbating to the memories of Herobrine.  _ No,  _ you decide,  _ I can just go back if I want more.  _ You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, and get up out of the pod to start a normal day in your normal life. 

The end :)


	3. Pepsiman Pepsi Penis

**“**

**FUCK COC** _ k _ **COLA**

**I ONLY DRINK PENIS**

  * **๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°`°๑۩ 🎀 𝒫𝑒𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓂𝒶𝓃 🎀 ۩๑°`°º¤ø,¸¸,๑۞๑**



**“**

Yharim was in disgust. In all his years he had never seen such a letter delivered to his front door. He stood up from his throne, his face disgruntled with pure disgust. 

He stomped with his gold clad boots. His armor was fit down to the molecule. “ **Who wrote this?!”** The Jungle Tyrant roared. He walked his way down his royal hall, every creature he passed kept their head down in fear, as it should be.

Eventually, he approached Calamitas. “Or was it you,  **witch** ?” 

“You know I’d never be stupid enough to challenge you, my liege.” She pronounced upon the ground she was standing, of which, she was standing on. 

“I know better than to trust you.” He spat. Calamitas’ disgust only grew from every interaction she had with him. Her fist clenched in rage.

Yharim sat back on his throne, enjoying the view from what felt like the top of the world. He made this empire. He was the god here. He was all.

Suddenly, crashing through the entrance, was THE man in blue and white, and his chest read PEPSI.

“ **Who are you?!** ” Yharim bellowed. The man only stood with his hands in fists, on his hips. For some reason, Yharim had suddenly gotten an erection. Yharim’s five foot long penis struggled to get upright in his pants.

The Pepsi-man only stared at the members of the court. His skin was mirrorlike, Yharim could see his own reflection in it.

“Calamitas, rid my throne room of this abomination  **at once!** ” He barked. Calamitas teleported in front of the blue and white deity, pointing her metal staff at him.

“You dare enter my lord’s throne room?! You should be crucified for this!” She yelled.

Pepsiman did not flinch, instead, he calmly turned around, revealing a zipper on his back. He was wearing a suit. He slowly motioned for the zipper and yanked it down, unveiling his true and absolutely stunning form.

There was a pepsi man inside of pepsi man, but this one had a blue and white pepsi penis. On his gargantuan cock, read ‘Pepsi Penis’. Little droplets of pepsi dripped from his pepsi penis. He turned around, whipping around his schlong with  **vigor.**

Pepsi man pointed his hand out, destroying reality itself.

“Calamitas! Stop hi--” And everything broke to left to the right to the thighs, you can't escape me, you’re in my eyes. Yharim doesn’t know what the fuck is happeningeningening. 

Pepsiman grabbed Calamitas’ head and pushed her to floor. He stuck his pepsi penis into her mouth, and fucked it with angry force. Calamitas couldn’t do anything but watch, her tears welling up. Pepsiman coomed with a mighty sigh, and out came pepsi into Calamitas’ mouth.

Calamitas fell to the floor, not knowing what was happening, all she knew was that that tasted good uwu. Pepsi penis man waltzed out the door and next to Yharim, who was startled by Pepsi man’s appearance. 

“Get away from me!” Yharim yelled. All of his cohorts were gone now. The Pepsi man had deleted them, along with reality, along with your innocence. You, the reader, he sees you.

Pepsi man’s arm extended, grabbing Yharim’s shoulder. Yharim’s eyes were wide with fear. 

“Please, don’t kill me..” He muttered.

“ **I won’t kill you.”** Pepsiman said from all around. His voice was everywhere.  **“Pepsiman!”** He shouted, breaking the ground apart.

Yharim screamed.

Pepsimassnn yanked Yharim’s golden mask off, revealing what was left of his face. Pepsiman stuck his peni into his eye.

**“Pepsiman!”** He roared as his massive cock entered Yharim’s eye socket. He was in pain and so are you what the fuck lolololol. He fucked but one too three four five six seven ayght nein tehn eel evan fort teen two welve.

Suddenly, every being could hear Pepsiman’s theme in the background. Pepsiman coomed pepsi into Yharim’s eye socket, causing him immense pain. He was groveling in terror and pain.

Pepsiman did the nae nae on Yharim. Yharim, for the first time in his life, was defeated. The jungle tyrant, defeated by such a being? Blashpemy! But one look in the non existent eyes of Pepsiman taught him better. 

This was no mere enemy. This was a true monster. He couldn’t defeat this thing. His pride and his fear battled until his fear overcame him. He lost an eye, as well as his cohorts. Calamitas was fucked senseless in his royal hall!

Pepsiman stood on what was once undoubtedly Yharim’s throne. He reached his hand out towards Calamitas, who was on the floor.

Calamitas floated to Pepsiman, who was using massive telekinetic powers to move her around. Once she was in Pepsiman’s hands, her clothes suddenly were ripped apart by seamingly nothing. Completely naked Pepsiman inserted himself into her. 

Calamitas wasn’t sure if she was alive anymore. For soime reason all she coulkd think about was yankee wit no brimstone elemental. Pepsiman continued to fuck her, until he finished inside her, impregnating her with pepsi babies.

Pepsiman dropped her onto the floor. Reality crumbled at the seams.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

two probably

Da pepsi PENIUS FUNNY

Cha cha reall no

What if smooth was pronounced like tooth

It would be smoothe 

Funnily enough it would be smoother than normal smooth

Hahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

PEPSIMAN

Four five two 

  
  


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**What is happening?**

**Woh am i?**

**Four probably**

**Pepsiman is suporeme**

**He cooms pepsi**

**Delicious pepsi penisyum yum yum yum in my tum tum**

**Calamitas was being turned into a pickle. She could feel her inner workings being turned straight to piuckl**

**Eventually she was a pickle, and Pepsiman picked her up.**

**“Pepsiman!” it screeched. Suddenly, a gaping maw appeared on Pepsiman’s face, revealing the cosmos itself. His teeth were long and pointy, this was not a sentient creature, it was a monster……**

**Calamitas was dropped into its mouth, where one of her ends was stabbed by the monster’s teeth. She fell further and further down, the cosmos invited her, was this her death?**

**Death was but life but not. Death is not the end, merely a state of being. You are not forgotten in the eyes of the old one, merely a pebble to picked up and thrown. He merely picks you up from an ocean of pebbles, and adds you to his rock collection.**

**The ocean of rocks sleep under the cosmic night. He walks on these pebblesm enjoying all that they brought him. Because of them he gets closer to the sky up above.**

**Yharim was no more. Terraria, no more. Yharon, no more. Her brothers, Cataclysm and Catastrophe, no more. She felt nothing but the weight of the pebbles that slowly were falling on top of her, until she was buried underneath it all.**

**She was simply a soul amoung souls, a tree in a forest, another speck on this vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast world.**

**And so are you….**


	4. AAA

A Wonderful Short Story

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A aaaaaa aaaa aaa aaaaaa. Aa aaa aaaaaaa aaaa aaaaaaa. “Aaa...” aa aaaaa. Aa aaa aaaaa aaa aaaa aaaaaaa. Aaaaaa aaa aaaaa aaaaaa aaaa. “Aaaa! Aa aaa aaaaaa!”

Aaa’a aaaaaa, Aaaaa, aaaaa aaaa. “Aaa,” aa aaaa. “Aaa aaa aaa?”

“A’a aaaa. Aaa?”

Aaaaa aaa aaa aaaaaaa aaaaa aaaa. “A’a...” aa aaaaaaa aaa. “AAAA AAA!”

Aaa aaaaaa aaaaa. A aaa aaa aaaaa aaaa a aaaaa.

Aaa aaaaaaa aaaa aaaaaaa aaaaa! Aaaaaa aaa aaaaaaa aaa aaaaaa aaaaaaa. “Aaaa aaaa aaa aaaaaaa.”

“Aa, aaaaaa?” Aaa aaa aaaaaaa. Aaaaaaaa aaaa aaaaaaaa aaaaaaa aaa aaaa aa aaaaa.” Aaaa aaaa aaaa aaaa aaaaa aaaa aaaaaaaa aaaaa.

“Aaaaaa aaa aaaa aaaaa.” Aaaa aaaa aaaaaaaa aaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa a aaaaa. Aaaaa aaa aaaaa aaaaaa a aaaa aa aaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

“Aaaaa aaa aaaaaa aaaaaa aaaaaa. Aaaa aaaaa aaaa aaa aaaaaaa.” Aaa aaaaa aaaaa aa aaaa. Aaa aaaaa aaaa aaaaa.

Aaa aaaa aaaaa aaaa aaaaaaa aaaa aaa aaa aaaaaaa. Aaa aa aaaaaa a aaaa aaaa aaaaa aaaa. “AA!” Aaa aaa aaaaaa aaa aaaa aa aaaaaa a aaaaaaaa. “Aaaa aaaa aaa, AA AAAA!”

“AAAA AAAA AAAAAAAA AAAA!” Aaa aaaaa aaa aaa aaaaaa aaa aaaaaa aaaaa. Aaaa aaaaaa aaaa aaa aaaaaaa. Aaaaa aaa aaaaaa aaaaaaa aaa.

Aaaaaa aaaa aaaaa. Aaaa. Aaaaaa aa aaaaa aaa aaaa aaaa aaaa aa aaaaaaaa aaaaaa. Aaaaaaa aaaaaa aaa aaaaa aaa aaaaaaa aaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa aa aaaaa aaaa aa aaaaaa aaaa.

“Aa...” aa aaaaaaa aaa. “Aaaa aaa aaa aaaaa?” Aaaa aaa aaaaaa aaaaaa aaaa aaaa aa a aaaa aa. Aaaaa aaa aaaaaa aaaa aaa aa aaaa aaaaa aa aa aaaaa aaaaa aaa. Aaaa aaa aaaaa aaaaa. Aaaaa aaaa aaaaaa aaaaaa aaa aaaaa aaaaaaa. Aaaaaa aaaa aa aaaa aa aaaaaa a aaaa.

Aaa aa aaaaa aaa aaaaaa aaa aaa aaa aaaaaa aaa aaaaaa aaa. Aaaaa aa aaaaaa aaaa. Aaa aaaaa aaa aaaaa. A aa aaaaa aa aaaa aaaaa aaaa a aaaa a aaaaa aa aaaa aaaa. Aaaaa aaaaa aaa. Aaa aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaa aaaaa aa.

“Aaa aaaaa aaa aaaaaa. Aaa aaaaa aa aaaaaa aaaaaa aaaa aaaa aaa aaaaaa. Aaaaa aaaaa a aaa aa aaaaa aaa aaa. Aaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaa aa aaaaa aaaa aaaa aa!” Aaa aaaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaa aaa aa aaaa a aaa aaaaaa. Aaa aaaa aaaaaa a aaa aaaaaa aaa aaaaa aaaa aaaaa aaaa aaa.

“Aaa aaaa aaaaa aaaaa aaaaa aaa aaaaa aaa aaa aaaaaa. Aaaaaaaaa aaaaa aaaaaa a aaa aaaa a aaaaaa aaaaa aaa aa aaaa.” Aaa aa aaaaa aaaaa aaaa aaa aaaaaaa aaa aa aaaaa aaaa aaa aaaa aaa.

Aaaa aaaa aaaa aaa aaaaa.

Aaa aaa.


	5. Obama X Doc Oc

Perish.

Obama was sitting in the oval office chair, jacking off, as he usually does. The cameras were disabled in there for a reason. Recently, the president had been experiencing a certain unpleasant situation. He sighed, knowing it was pointless trying to get off when it seemed his dick was completely devoid of any sensory functions. Obama slapped his sad pickle around some more, wearing a somber expression on his face. 

But just when all hope seemed lost, Obama heard loud knocking on the window directly behind him. Startled, he immediately shoved his dick back in his pants, and turned around to face whoever was visiting him at 1 am. He was pleasantly shocked to see his HOMIE, Doctor Octopus, vibing on the wall with his metal appendages. Excited, Obama opened the large window to let him in. 

“Good evening, Mister President.” The doc said, as he stepped into the room.

“It’s 1 in the morning, what are you doing here??” Obama shout-whispered to his friend. 

“I think you know why I’m here.” He said, showing his phone. “You were being horny in general again on the discord server. Tsk tsk, Obama, when will you learn?” Suddenly, the shady man grabbed Obama with his tentacles, and pinned him to the ground. 

“Wh-what are you doing?” Obama said, his heart racing.

“Don’t be horny in main EVER again, #sex-dungeon exists for a reason.” He stood over the other man, and noticed the small bulge in his pants. “Obama, what the fuck is this? I should have expected this from a whore like you!” One piece of clothing at a time, Doctor Octopus stripped Obama naked right in his own office. After he finished, he took a gander at his now vulnerable friend.

“Don’t stare, please.” Obama tried to sound assertive but it came off as pathetic. 

“Oh? On god, Horny Boy?” He laughed as he lowered himself more, and started to stroke Obama’s dick. However, even after a few minutes of stroking, it barely got any harder, and his amused grin slowly turned into a disappointed frown as the doc realized this wasn’t going to go anywhere if the pace continued. 

“Boo hoo, does the Horny Boy have erectile dysfunction? Let’s turn it up a notch then, shall we?” He laughed again as he brought one of his tentacles down to Obama’s semi flaccid weewee. 

“NO!! STOP! GET IT AWAY FROM THERE!” Obama screamed, looking down at what horrors were to precede. Doctor Octopus grabbed Obama’s dick with the metal tentacle, tearing the soft skin as he started moving it up and down. Despite having his penis mutilated, Obama moaned loudly in pleasure, he was in pure ecstasy. Finally, some sensation in his groin area. 

Obama tried desperately to escape the steely arms that held him captive, but it was to no avail. He was stuck, and he had to just bear it as his dick was being destroyed. He had to escape, he just couldn’t face the shame that cumming in this situation would bring. But, it is what it is and Obama eventually came, red spurts coming out of his peepee as he cried in pleasure. He lay there, spent and bleeding out.

“Good luck explaining that.” Doctor Octopus said, fleeing the scene like the epic discord admin he was.


	6. The penis who dared to cum fuck hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> made by Luna Wolffe

Hey sorry man COCK I’m gonna CUM you’re a little late I just SHIT got to the 

hey I just got home I got FUCKED ok hey hey I just got a message about the meeting that you guys are COOMING going on in there ASSHOLE and I’m sorry to bother him again sorry but you gotta FUCK ME DADDY is a way you to do it bruh bruh did i mention bruh FUCK COCK WIENER was the time to come chill out with me I wanna SUCK JESUS’S DICK is a day or no one more than you know PENIS that you got to 

go to see you guys tonight I love ya too baby SHIT I wanna was 

  
  


……… penis…. 

  
  


the time of COCK you like it AND you got to yourself it is so RETARDED and you have a good day and you guys want me FUCK much and then you guys are going on the right way SHIT and then you guys want me to FUCK something else or someone else and just I want you to know that you ARE A COCK and you don’t know how to do that you know what I mean I just want to apologize to ya yeah hey JUST KIDDING SHITHEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD lol just got to the point. wanna talk about how much you suck? and you get a message saying you got to me I wanna was a nice SHIT and you got it to you and you get it off your phone I CUCKHOLD WIENER PIE about it sorry lol I’m just so tired and tired and tired and tired and CUNT and tired but yeah hey man sorry about it I wanna PENIS time you in the butthole you want me to FUCK the fire hydrant? Yesterday I got FUCKED by the looks of the new PENIS and you are a bit RETARDED YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I FUCKING HOPE YOU DIE YOU UU UU U UUUUUUUU COCK PENIS AND COCK AND PENIS AND COCK AND PENIS AND BALLS AND TORTURE BECAUSE FUCK YOU IN EVERY SENSE OF THE COOM ALL OVER YOUR COOM-COOM OH YAH PAPI COOM was the day you were DICK you are not going on THE AIRPLANE because you are a terrorist lol weenie? 

COCK!!!!

Eat my shorts I’m Bart SIMPson hahahaha funny epic DICK gameplay want this banana? I shoved it into my DMs it is spicy! Would you like a free WIENER with your SHIT? It comes half off! Penis. Penis? Penis. Oh ok, PENIS. If you DICK SHIT one more time I’m going to take away your BEYBLADES. They will be stored in the ASSHOLE of time, the mysterious black hole. Don’t make me come down there and COOM all over!! I will take every minion and you get it bruh bruh was the bruh way to bruh and BITCHES you guys want me to COOM? And this is the end of the FUCKING story I hope you hated it. COOM. 


	7. Fishing Bros

_ Hey, hi, hello, if youre reading this i would like to tell you there is diolouge in the sex scene  _

_ If you want to read it erotically, you can, but if it makes you uncomfy you have two options. _

_ Give them anime chick voices, or read in it a completely monotone voice.  _

_ Or come up with something idc  _

_ This isn't my proudest creation. Here we go. _

  
  


_ it takes place in a boat with our characters Shrek and Snape. Shrek has felt like their relationship is more than just a fishing trip. will Snape accept his offer, or will he turn it down to be too fishy? will Shrek reel in his catch? find out in the all-new fanfic-Fishing Buddies. A gay love story that might not be suitable for young audiences. _

**Shrek fidgeted on the boat trying not to flip the boat over. He looked at Snape. His honey eyes, his soft hair, the way his laugh lit up each fishing trip. They had been fishing for a while before Shrek discovered his feelings for Snape. Snape suddenly shouted, "I got a catch!"**

**Shrek looked at Snape's proud smile. God.. how cute. Shrek stammered.**

**"B-bro."**

**"Yeah..?"**

**"Well.... I think we may be more than just fishing buddies."**

**Suddenly, the boat flips over.**

**“ack!” Snape says before grabbing onto the boat.**

**Snape wondered where his bro went.**

**suddenly, there was a struggle underneath the boat. HES TRAPPED!**

**Snape swims underneath the turned boat and grabs onto Shreks waist. pulling him up, Snape helps Shrek grab onto the boat.**

**they stare into each others eyes, arms still around each other.**

**Snape leans in, then quickly looks away. He lets go of Shrek.**

**"Looks like we are soaked haha"**

**Shrek slumps a bit.**

**"Yeah.. guess.. we are"**

**They swam back to shore and sat quietly for a bit.**

**After a while, Snape speaks up.**

**“so what were you talking about, bro? are we more than just fishing buddies.”**

**Shrek looks into Snapes eyes. suddenly they feel themselves getting closer to eachother**

**“haha...it’s cold isn’t it?” Shrek shivers, putting his arms around Snape.**

**“it’s just, whenever we go on these fishing trips, i feel so happy with you. your proud smile...your laugh when you lose a fish..your cute poses you make when i take a picture of you and your fish. it just seems like we have something blooming here, and if we water it correctly, we could grow something beautiful”**

**they sit in silence for a few seconds before Shrek piped up again.**

**“i guess...we already have watered it, haha..”**

**Snape looked at Shrek. His hand seemed to almost automatically go up and gently move Shreks face towards him. Snape smiled a bit and swooped his wet hair.**

  
  


**Shrek smiles back at Snape**

**“so, can i call you *my* bro, bro?” Shrek says gently as he moves even closer to Snape. his face rests in his hands**

  
  


**"Of course" Snape says proudly. Shrek leaned in and gently touched Snapes lips with his.**

**Shreks face flushes as red as a bass fish’s fin as he kisses Snapes lips. all of his fantasies were coming true in this one moment. just bro’s being..more than fishing buddies. he thought his life was about to change for the good.**

**Shreks hand raises up to Snapes face to pull him closer.**

  
  


**Suddenly Snape pushes him off and notices a ship coming to shore. He notices that they weren't in any place that they've known before. They were in a place of ruins. The ship comes to shore and a man with an odd looking gun comes out.**

**"You guys!"**

**Shrek jumps.**

**“ah! i’m sorry, were we on your land? we d-didnt mean to..o...our boat just flipped over and w..we were all wet! we’re so sorry i-“**

**Shrek puts his hands up and glances at bro , then back at the ship.**

**The man walks over and shove his gun under Shreks neck and cocks his head up.**

**"You both have made many war crimes against us."**

**The man lifted his gun and wacked Shrek to knock him out. The last thing he remembers is Snape screaming.**

**Shrek wakes up in a daze. his eyesight is blurry...he’s very dizzy.**

**he opens his eyes slightly as sees dim light coming through the singular window in the room that he’s in. he feels himself rock back and fourth and hears the sound of...water? wait.**

**there is another sound coming to him as his vision clears. faint crying? it sounds like it’s coming from a corner. Shrek sits up and attempts to crawl towards the sound.**

**_continued on 1/15/20_ **

**“b...bro? is that you? where are you? where are we?” Shrek questions to the mysterious figure in the corner. Snape turns around and leaps up to hug Shrek tightly. Their lips found themselves on eachother again, and the ringing in their ears and the heavy coat of salt on their skin started to slowly melt away in eachothers arms.**

**Snape knew that he was in love with Shrek before. But now it hit him like a train again. His warm embrace was the only one that could hit him with a rush like Bud Lite did on a BBQ Sunday. Snape knew that Shrek was single, but he has a wife. The thought of her disgusting coochie flashed in Snapes mind right before he pushed harder into Shreks lips. To think that he would get no more of that awful cooter and instead get a supple, unused ass like Shreks… it almost sent blood rushing into his shlong.**

**Shrek had almost the same thing on his mind. Snapes wife… she would hate him. And she made the best ribs in town! I guess it is good for Snape though, she does have an awful vag. The three had a threesome once, and Shrek could barely touch it with his perfectly preserved pp. He waltzed into the backdoor instead and hit her with a surprise. The only thing that got his nut out was Snapes wonderfully shaped yogurt slinger. Shrek got rock solid. Uh oh. He hoped Snape couldn’t feel.**

**Snape felt it. But before he could say anything, the door flung open and the two men were flung back in shock. Luckily, the man didn’t see them.**

**The man pulled the two out onto the deck of a ship. Shrek and Snape blinked, trying to get used to the bright sunlight. When their eyes adjusted, they saw something magical. A man with two big, bright fairy wings stood before them. He cleared his throat and spoke with elegance.**

**“You two are being thrown off for being human in this magical land. People who enter this land are usually turned into creatures. You two have shown nothing, duds, and now you must die.” He said this while waving his fingers and magically throwing the two men into the sea.**

**CHAPERT TWO_ SEX WARNING!!! CUM ZONE**

**The second Shrek hits the water, he opened his eyes and looked down to see a fish tail where his feet should be. Unphased, he turned around to see Snape with giant bird wings. Snape seemed to be sinking faster and faster, so Shrek swam down quickly to grab him by his waist. Snape seemed to be skinnier and lighter, but his pants were growing. They got onto a flat rock and layed out to dry. When Shrek was dry, his tail dissapeared. Snapes wings stayed.**

**Shrek leaned over to smooch Snape.**

**“I'm so glad you’re okay…” Shrek whispered as he started to pull Snape closer. He lifted his knee up and gently tapped something. He thought it was snapes knee until Snape took a sharp breath in. Shrek moved his hand and asked if he was okay. His hand got in something wet...and sticky… man cum? Oh my god, it was coming out of something massive in Snapes pants!**

**“Holy shit snape! Is that your-” but before Shrek could say anything, Snape grabbed his pants and pulled them down.**

**“I don’t know what happened to it, but i really want to make love to you! I'm so aroused that it hurts and when i look at you it only gets harder! Please Shrek, let me have a peice of that cake! Please, oh god, i want you and only you!” As snape pleaded, his long, thick, hard cock fell out and bounced around. It was pouring pre everywhere and lubricating himself. Just the sight of it got Shreks hard penise poking out of his pant elastics.**

**Shrek had a large cock for a human. But Snapes was now huge. Shrek wasn’t sure he could take it, it was so thick! It had to be as long as his arm, maybe even longer! And the cum that it could produce. The thought of it made his asshole throb. Shrek stood up and touched Snapes penie, producing a loud moan from him.**

**“Oh, aah, Shrek, its so sensitive. Please, if you keep touching it ill feel the pleasure of a lifetime! I want your fishy hands all over this aroused rod!” Shrek got his second hand on the cock and started to rub. He got so sensual to Snapes loud sensitive moans. Suddenly he found his lips wrapped tightly around the cock as he kept rubbing. Snape grabbed Shreks hair and pushed him down further as he busted a massive load. After filling Shrek , he sat down in front of Shrek and kept nutting.Shrek was getting sticky as he took off his pants. When Snape was done, he was still throbbing.**

**“Lets see if you can take it.” Snape grabbed Shrek by his waist and violently jacked his human cock off. Shrek let out a small moan, just enough to get snape at full horny. He told Shrek to stand up and sit on it. Shrek nodded, and with Snapes hands still at his waist he let his knees go and dropped all the way down to the base. Now face to face, Shrek let out a massive moan, causing snape to bust a load in him again.**

**“Oh my god, that was so sexy! Holy shit i'm-”**

**Shrek waited for the cum to stop before he got moving. He bounced up and down, causing snapies thick cum to drip out of his bussy. Shreks moans sped up and he started to breathe heavy.**

**“Hoooh… i'm going to cum. Snape! Youre going to make me-” he moaned loudly before cumming all over snapes front. Snape picked up some of this cum and put it in his mouth**

**Shrek started moving again, but snape moaned and made useless efforts to try to stop him. Snape knew he couldnt take this next load! The third is always the biggest.**

**“Shrek, youll have to stop, this will kill you, please..” Snape found himself begging after the rush began again. “ please, wait, don't stop. Ill fill you to the brim! God” snape screamed before busting the largest nut in shreks ass the world has seen. Shreks stomach grew 3x the original size, full of cum. Shrek came to the sight of it.**

**Snape stuck a fist in shreks ass and pulled his pp out. He flipped shrek over and shrek gasped.**

**“Oh god, i'm sensitive there! Wait-” but the finger was already out and the tounge in. With ass up, no cum came out of shrek, so this would be perfect. Shrek moaned in delight as he was already close.Snape worked his tounge so nicely and so fast that shrek was moaning so frequently and loudly he could hardly breathe. Snape reached under and stroked shreks cock as he was about to cum. When shrek did hit that nut, snape pulled back and let shrek tense up.**

**Cum shot out of his dick and his asshole. When it stopped, snape ate him out again, and it started. Over and over until cum was leaking out of both of their cocks.**

**They tried different positions and fucked for days. Now its a gay tourist attraction. They never stop pumping cum. So much in the water that the fish who eat the cum from the water turn horny and fuck at the bottom of the ocean for a week.**

**Welcome to the cum zone.**

**  
  
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End file.
